All behavior is an attempt to satisfy basic needs — above all the need to love and be loved, and the need to feel worthwhile to ourselves and others. (Glasser later expanded these into five: survival, love/belonging, power, freedom, and fun.) Understanding the unmet need behind a behavior is the key to changing it, because you can’t drop a coping strategy until the underlying need is met a better way.
Related: Self-esteem is trusting your mind and knowing you deserve happiness · Without self-esteem you can neither give love nor accept it · The deepest urge in human nature is the desire to be important